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Console gaming is hardly different from PC gaming, and much of what people say about PC gaming to put it above console gaming is often wrong.
I’m not sure about you, but for the past few years, I’ve been hearing people go on and on about PCs "superiority" to the console market. People cite various reasons why they believe gaming on a PC is “objectively” better than console gaming, often for reasons related to power, costs, ease-of-use, and freedom. …Only problem: much of what they say is wrong. There are many misconceptions being thrown about PC gaming vs Console gaming, that I believe need to be addressed. This isn’t about “PC gamers being wrong,” or “consoles being the best,” absolutely not. I just want to cut through some of the stuff people use to put down console gaming, and show that console gaming is incredibly similar to PC gaming. I mean, yes, this is someone who mainly games on console, but I also am getting a new PC that I will game on as well, not to mention the 30 PC games I already own and play. I’m not particularly partial to one over the other. Now I will mainly be focusing on the PlayStation side of the consoles, because I know it best, but much of what I say will apply to Xbox as well. Just because I don’t point out many specific Xbox examples, doesn’t mean that they aren’t out there.
“PCs can use TVs and monitors.”
This one isn’t so much of a misconception as it is the implication of one, and overall just… confusing. This is in some articles and the pcmasterrace “why choose a PC” section, where they’re practically implying that consoles can’t do this. I mean, yes, as long as the ports of your PC match up with your screen(s) inputs, you could plug a PC into either… but you could do the same with a console, again, as long as the ports match up. I’m guessing the idea here is that gaming monitors often use Displayport, as do most dedicated GPUs, and consoles are generally restricted to HDMI… But even so, monitors often have HDMI ports. In fact, PC Magazine has just released their list of the best gaming monitors of 2017, and every single one of them has an HDMI port. A PS4 can be plugged into these just as easily as a GTX 1080. I mean, even if the monitoTV doesn’t have HDMI or AV to connect with your console, just use an adaptor. If you have a PC with ports that doesn’t match your monitoTV… use an adapter. I don’t know what the point of this argument is, but it’s made a worrying amount of times.
“On PC, you have a wide range of controller options, but on console you’re stuck with the standard controller."
Are you on PlayStation and wish you could use a specific type of controller that suits your favorite kind of gameplay? Despite what some may believe, you have just as many options as PC. Want to play fighting games with a classic arcade-style board, featuring the buttons and joystick? Here you go! Want to get serious about racing and get something more accurate and immersive than a controller? Got you covered. Absolutely crazy about flying games and, like the racers, want something better than a controller? Enjoy! Want Wii-style motion controls? Been around since the PS3. If you prefer the form factor of the Xbox One controller but you own a PS4, Hori’s got you covered. And of course, if keyboard and mouse it what keeps you on PC, there’s a PlayStation compatible solution for that. Want to use the keyboard and mouse that you already own? Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Of course, these aren’t isolated examples, there are plenty of options for each of these kind of controllers. You don’t have to be on PC to enjoy alternate controllers.
“On PC you could use Steam Link to play anywhere in your house and share games with others.”
PS4 Remote play app on PC/Mac, PSTV, and PS Vita. PS Family Sharing. Using the same PSN account on multiple PS4s/Xbox Ones and PS3s/360s, or using multiple accounts on the same console. In fact, if multiple users are on the same PS4, only one has to buy the game for both users to play it on that one PS4. On top of that, only one of them has to have PS Plus for both to play online (if the one with PS Plus registers the PS4 as their main system). PS4 Share Play; if two people on separate PS4s want to play a game together that only one of them owns, they can join a Party and the owner of the game can have their friend play with them in the game. Need I say more?
“Gaming is more expensive on console.”
Part one, the Software This is one that I find… genuinely surprising. There’s been a few times I’ve mentioned that part of the reason I chose a PS4 is for budget gaming, only to told that “games are cheaper on Steam.” To be fair, there are a few games on PSN/XBL that are more expensive than they are on Steam, so I can see how someone could believe this… but apparently they forgot about disks. Dirt Rally, a hardcore racing sim game that’s… still $60 on all 3 platforms digitally… even though its successor is out.
See my point? Often times the game is cheaper on console because of the disk alternative that’s available for practically every console-available game. Even when the game is brand new. Dirt 4 - Remember that Dirt Rally successor I mentioned?
Yes, you could either buy this relatively new game digitally for $60, or just pick up the disk for a discounted price. And again, this is for a game that came out 2 months ago, and even it’s predecessor’s digital cost is locked at $60. Of course, I’m not going to ignore the fact that Dirt 4 is currently (as of writing this) discounted on Steam, but on PSN it also happens to be discounted for about the same amount. Part 2: the Subscription Now… let’s not ignore the elephant in the room: PS Plus and Xbox Gold. Now these would be ignorable, if they weren’t required for online play (on the PlayStation side, it’s only required for PS4, but still). So yes, it’s still something that will be included in the cost of your PS4 or Xbox One/360, assuming you play online. Bummer, right? Here’s the thing, although that’s the case, although you have to factor in this $60 cost with your console, you can make it balance out, at worst, and make it work out for you as a budget gamer, at best. As nice as it would be to not have to deal with the price if you don’t want to, it’s not like it’s a problem if you use it correctly. Imagine going to a new restaurant. This restaurant has some meals that you can’t get anywhere else, and fair prices compared to competitors. Only problem: you have to pay a membership fee to have the sides. Now you can have the main course, sit down and enjoy your steak or pasta, but if you want to have a side to have a full meal, you have to pay an annual fee. Sounds shitty, right? But here’s the thing: not only does this membership allow you to have sides with your meal, but it also allows you to eat two meals for free every month, and also gives you exclusive discounts for other meals, drinks, and desserts. Let’s look at PS Plus for a minute: for $60 per year, you get:
2 free PS4 games, every month
2 free PS3 games, every month
1 PS4/PS3 and Vita compatible game, and 1 Vita-only game, every month
Exclusive/Extended discounts, especially during the weekly/seasonal sales (though you don’t need PS Plus to get sales, PS Plus members get to enjoy the best sales)
access to online multiplayer
So yes, you’re paying extra because of that membership, but what you get with that deal pays for it and then some. In fact, let’s ignore the discounts for a minute: you get 24 free PS4 games, 24 free PS3 games, and 12 Vita only + 12 Vita compatible games, up to 72freegames every year. Even if you only one of these consoles, that’s still 24 free games a year. Sure, maybe you get games for the month that you don’t like, then just wait until next month. In fact, let’s look at Just Cause 3 again. It was free for PS Plus members in August, which is a pretty big deal. Why is this significant? Because it’s, again, a $60 digital game. That means with this one download, you’ve balanced out your $60 annual fee. Meaning? Every free game after that is money saved, every discount after that is money saved. And this is a trend: every year, PS Plus will release a game that balances out the entire service cost, then another 23 more that will only add icing to that budget cake. Though, you could just count games as paying off PS Plus until you hit $60 in savings, but still. All in all, PS Plus, and Xbox Gold which offers similar options, saves you money. On top of that, again, you don't need to have these to get discounts, but with these memberships, you get more discounts. Now, I’ve seen a few Steam games go up for free for a week, but what about being free for an entire month? Not to mention that; even if you want to talk about Steam Summer Sales, what about the PSN summer sale, or again, disc sale discounts? Now a lot of research and math would be needed to see if every console gamer would save money compared to every Steam gamer for the same games, but at the very least? The costs will balance out, at worst. Part 3, the Systems
Xbox and PS2: $299
Xbox 360 and PS3: $299 and $499, respectively
Xbox One and PS4: $499 and $399, respectively.
Rounded up a few dollars, that’s $1,000 - $1,300 in day-one consoles, just to keep up with the games! Crazy right? So called budget systems, such a rip-off. Well, keep in mind that the generations here aren’t short. The 6th generation, from the launch of the PS2 to the launch of the next generation consoles, lasted 5 years, 6 years based on the launch of the PS3 (though you could say it was 9 or 14, since the Xbox wasn’t discontinued until 2009, and the PS2 was supported all the way to 2014, a year after the PS4 was released). The 7th gen lasted 7 - 8 years, again depending on whether you count the launch of the Xbox 360 to PS3. The 8th gen so far has lasted 4 years. That’s 17 years that the console money is spread over. If you had a Netflix subscription for it’s original $8 monthly plan for that amount of time, that would be over $1,600 total. And let’s be fair here, just like you could upgrade your PC hardware whenever you wanted, you didn’t have to get a console from launch. Let’s look at PlayStation again for example: In 2002, only two years after its release, the PS2 retail price was cut from $300 to $200. The PS3 Slim, released 3 years after the original, was $300, $100-$200 lower than the retail cost. The PS4? You could’ve either gotten the Uncharted bundle for $350, or one of the PS4 Slim bundles for $250. This all brings it down to $750 - $850, which again, is spread over a decade and a half. This isn’t even counting used consoles, sales, or the further price cuts that I didn’t mention. Even if that still sounds like a lot of money to you, even if you’re laughing at the thought of buying new systems every several years, because your PC “is never obsolete,” tell me: how many parts have you changed out in your PC over the years? How many GPUs have you been through? CPUs? Motherboards? RAM sticks, monitors, keyboards, mice, CPU coolers, hard drives— that adds up. You don’t need to replace your entire system to spend a lot of money on hardware. Even if you weren’t upgrading for the sake of upgrading, I’d be amazed if the hardware you’ve been pushing by gaming would last for about 1/3 of that 17 year period. Computer parts aren’t designed to last forever, and really won’t when you’re pushing them with intensive gaming for hours upon hours. Generally speaking, your components might last you 6-8 years, if you’ve got the high-end stuff. But let’s assume you bought a system 17 years ago that was a beast for it’s time, something so powerful, that even if it’s parts have degraded over time, it’s still going strong. Problem is: you will have to upgrade something eventually. Even if you’ve managed to get this far into the gaming realm with the same 17 year old hardware, I’m betting you didn’t do it with a 17 year Operating System. How much did Windows 7 cost you? Or 8.1? Or 10? Oh, and don’t think you can skirt the cost by getting a pre-built system, the cost of Windows is embedded into the cost of the machine (why else would Microsoft allow their OS to go on so many machines). Sure, Windows 10 was a free upgrade for a year, but that’s only half of it’s lifetime— You can’t get it for free now, and not for the past year. On top of that, the free period was an upgrade; you had to pay for 7 or 8 first anyway. Point is, as much as one would like to say that they didn’t need to buy a new system every so often for the sake of gaming, that doesn’t mean they haven’t been paying for hardware, and even if they’ve only been PC gaming recently, you’ll be spending money on hardware soon enough.
“PC is leading the VR—“
Let me stop you right there. If you add together the total number of Oculus Rifts and HTC Vives sold to this day, and threw in another 100,000 just for the sake of it, that number would still be under the number of PSVR headsets sold. Why could this possibly be? Well, for a simple reason: affordability. The systems needed to run the PC headsets costs $800+, and the headsets are $500 - $600, when discounted. PSVR on the other hand costs $450 for the full bundle (headset, camera, and move controllers, with a demo disc thrown in), and can be played on either a $250 - $300 console, or a $400 console, the latter recommended. Even if you want to say that the Vive and Rift are more refined, a full PSVR set, system and all, could cost just over $100 more than a Vive headset alone. If anything, PC isn’t leading the VR gaming market, the PS4 is. It’s the system bringing VR to the most consumers, showing them what the future of gaming could look like. Not to mention that as the PlayStation line grows more powerful (4.2 TFLOP PS4 Pro, 10 TFLOP “PS5…”), it won’t be long until the PlayStation line can use the same VR games as PC. Either way, this shows that there is a console equivalent to the PC VR options. Sure, there are some games you'd only be able to play on PC, but there are also some games you'd only be able to play on PSVR. …Though to be fair, if we’re talking about VR in general, these headsets don’t even hold a candle to, surprisingly, Gear VR.
“If it wasn’t for consoles holding devs back, then they would be able to make higher quality games.”
This one is based on the idea that because of how “low spec” consoles are, that when a developer has to take them in mind, then they can’t design the game to be nearly as good as it would be otherwise. I mean, have you ever seen the minimum specs for games on Steam? GTA V
Actually, bump up all the memory requirements to 8 GBs, and those are some decent specs, relatively speaking. And keep in mind these are the minimum specs to even open the games. It’s almost as if the devs didn’t worry about console specs when making a PC version of the game, because this version of the game isn’t on console. Or maybe even that the consoles aren’t holding the games back that much because they’re not that weak. Just a hypothesis. But I mean, the devs are still ooobviously having to take weak consoles into mind right? They could make their games sooo much more powerful if they were PC only, right? Right? No. Not even close. iRacing
CPU: Intel Core i3, i5, i7 or better or AMD Bulldozer or better
Memory: 8 GB RAM
GPU: NVidia GeForce 2xx series or better, 1GB+ dedicated video memory / AMD 5xxx series or better, 1GB+ dedicated video memory
These are PC only games. That’s right, no consoles to hold them back, they don’t have to worry about whether an Xbox One could handle it. Yet, they don’t require anything more than the Multiplatform games. Subnautica
So what’s the deal? Theoretically, if developers don’t have to worry about console specs, then why aren’t they going all-out and making games that no console could even dream of supporting? Low-end PCs. What, did you think people only game on Steam if they spent at least $500 on gaming hardware? Not all PC gamers have gaming-PC specs, and if devs close their games out to players who don’t have the strongest of PCs, then they’d be losing out on a pretty sizable chunk of their potential buyers. Saying “devs having to deal with consoles is holding gaming back” is like saying “racing teams having to deal with Ford is holding GT racing back.” A: racing teams don’t have to deal with Ford if they don’t want to, which is probably why many of them don’t, and B: even though Ford doesn’t make the fastest cars overall, they still manage to make cars that are awesome on their own, they don’t even need to be compared to anything else to know that they make good cars. I want to go back to that previous point though, developers having to deal with low-end PCs, because it’s integral to the next point:
“PCs are more powerful, gaming on PC provides a better experience.”
This one isn’t so much of a misconception as it is… misleading. Did you know that according to the Steam Hardware & Software Survey (July 2017) , the percentage of Steam gamers who use a GPU that's less powerful than that of a PS4Slim’s GPU is well over 50%? Things get dismal when compared to the PS4 Pro (Or Xbox One X). On top of that, the percentage of PC gamers who own a Nvidia 10 series card is about 20% (about 15% for the 1060, 1080 and 1070 owners). Now to be fair, the large majority of gamers have CPUs with considerably high clock speeds, which is the main factor in CPU gaming performance. But, the number of Steam gamers with as much RAM or more than a PS4 or Xbox One is less than 50%, which can really bottleneck what those CPUs can handle. These numbers are hardly better than they were in 2013, all things considered. Sure, a PS3/360 weeps in the face of even a $400 PC, but in this day in age, consoles have definitely caught up. Sure, we could mention the fact that even 1% of Steam accounts represents over 1 million accounts, but that doesn’t really matter compared to the 10s of millions of 8th gen consoles sold; looking at it that way, sure the number of Nvidia 10 series owners is over 20 million, but that ignores the fact that there are over 5 times more 8th gen consoles sold than that. Basically, even though PCs run on a spectrum, saying they're more powerful “on average” is actually wrong. Sure, they have the potential for being more powerful, but most of the time, people aren’t willing to pay the premium to reach those extra bits of performance. Now why is this important? What matters are the people who spent the premium cost for premium parts, right? Because of the previous point: PCs don’t have some ubiquitous quality over the consoles, developers will always have to keep low-end PCs in mind, because not even half of all PC players can afford the good stuff, and you have to look at the top quarter of Steam players before you get to PS4-Pro-level specs. If every Steam player were to get a PS4 Pro, it would be an upgrade for over 60% of them, and 70% of them would be getting an upgrade with the Xbox One X. Sure, you could still make the argument that when you pay more for PC parts, you get a better experience than you could with a console. We can argue all day about budget PCs, but a console can’t match up to a $1,000 PC build. It’s the same as paying more for car parts, in the end you get a better car. However, there is a certain problem with that…
“You pay a little more for a PC, you get much more quality.”
The idea here is that the more you pay for PC parts, the performance increases at a faster rate than the price does. Problem: that’s not how technology works. Paying twice as much doesn’t get you twice the quality the majority of the time. For example, let’s look at graphics cards, specifically the GeForce 10 series cards, starting with the GTX 1050.
1.35 GHz base clock
2 GB VRAM
This is our reference, our basis of comparison. Any percentages will be based on the 1050’s specs. Now let’s look at the GTX 1050 Ti, the 1050’s older brother.
1.29 GHz base clock
4 GB VRAM
This is pretty good. You only increase the price by about 27%, and you get an 11% increase in floating point speed and a 100% increase (double) in VRAM. Sure you get a slightly lower base clock, but the rest definitely makes up for it. In fact, according to GPU boss, the Ti managed 66 fps, or a 22% increase in frame rate for Battlefield 4, and a 54% increase in mHash/second in bitcoin mining. The cost increase is worth it, for the most part. But let’s get to the real meat of it; what happens when we double our budget? Surely we should see a massive increase performance, I bet some of you are willing to bet that twice the cost means more than twice the performance. The closest price comparison for double the cost is the GTX 1060 (3 GB), so let’s get a look at that.
1.5 GHz base clock
3 GB VRAM
Well… not substantial, I’d say. About a 50% increase in floating point speed, an 11% increase in base clock speed, and a 1GB decrease in VRAM. For [almost] doubling the price, you don’t get much. Well surely raw specs don’t tell the full story, right? Well, let’s look at some real wold comparisons. Once again, according to GPU Boss, there’s a 138% increase in hashes/second for bitcoin mining, and at 99 fps, an 83% frame rate increase in Battlefield 4. Well, then, raw specs does not tell the whole story! Here’s another one, the 1060’s big brother… or, well, slightly-more-developed twin.
1.5 GHz base clock
6 GB VRAM
Seems reasonable, another $50 for a decent jump in power and double the memory! But, as we’ve learned, we shouldn’t look at the specs for the full story. I did do a GPU Boss comparison, but for the BF4 frame rate, I had to look at Tom’s Hardware (sorry miners, GPU boss didn’t cover the mHash/sec spec either). What’s the verdict? Well, pretty good, I’d say. With 97 FPS, a 79% increase over the 1050— wait. 97? That seems too low… I mean, the 3GB version got 99. Well, let’s see what Tech Power Up has to say... 94.3 fps. 74% increase. Huh. Alright alright, maybe that was just a dud. We can gloss over that I guess. Ok, one more, but let’s go for the big fish: the GTX 1080.
1.6 GHz base clock
8 GB VRAM
That jump in floating point speed definitely has to be something, and 4 times the VRAM? Sure it’s 5 times the price, but as we saw, raw power doesn’t always tell the full story. GPU Boss returns to give us the run down, how do these cards compare in the real world? Well… a 222% (over three-fold) increase in mHash speed, and a 218% increase in FPS for Battlefield 4. That’s right, for 5 times the cost, you get 3 times the performance. Truly, the raw specs don’t tell the full story. You increase the cost by 27%, you increase frame rate in our example game by 22%. You increase the cost by 83%, you increase the frame rate by 83%. Sounds good, but if you increase the cost by 129%, and you get a 79% (-50% cost/power increase) increase in frame rate. You increase it by 358%, and you increase the frame rate by 218% (-140% cost/power increase). That’s not paying “more for much more power,” that’s a steep drop-off after the third cheapest option. In fact, did you know that you have to get to the 1060 (6GB) before you could compare the GTX line to a PS4 Pro? Not to mention that at $250, the price of a 1060 (6GB) you could get an entire PS4 Slim bundle, or that you have to get to the 1070 before you beat the Xbox One X. On another note, let’s look at a PS4 Slim…
800 MHz base clock
8 GB VRAM
…Versus a PS4 Pro.
911 MHz base clock
8 GB VRAM
128% increase in floating point speed, 13% increase in clock speed, for a 25% difference in cost. Unfortunately there is no Battlefield 4 comparison to make, but in BF1, the frame rate is doubled (30 fps to 60) and the textures are taken to 11. For what that looks like, I’ll leave it up to this bloke. Not to even mention that you can even get the texture buffs in 4K. Just like how you get a decent increase in performance based on price for the lower-cost GPUs, the same applies here. It’s even worse when you look at the CPU for a gaming PC. The more money you spend, again, the less of a benefit you get per dollar. Hardware Unboxed covers this in a video comparing different levels of Intel CPUs. One thing to note is that the highest i7 option (6700K) in this video was almost always within 10 FPS (though for a few games, 15 FPS) of a certain CPU in that list for just about all of the games. …That CPU was the lowest i3 (6100) option. The lowest i3 was $117 and the highest i7 was $339, a 189% price difference for what was, on average, a 30% or less difference in frame rate. Even the lowest Pentium option (G4400, $63) was often able to keep up with the i7. The CPU and GPU are usually the most expensive and power-consuming parts of a build, which is why I focused on them (other than the fact that they’re the two most important parts of a gaming PC, outside of RAM). With both, this “pay more to get much more performance” idea is pretty much the inverse of the truth.
“The console giants are bad for game developers, Steam doesn't treat developers as bad as Microsoft or especially Sony.”
Now one thing you might’ve heard is that the PS3 was incredibly difficult for developers to make games for, which for some, fueled the idea that console hardware is difficult too develop on compared to PC… but this ignores a very basic idea that we’ve already touched on: if the devs don’t want to make the game compatible with a system, they don’t have to. In fact, this is why Left 4 Dead and other Valve games aren’t on PS3, because they didn’t want to work with it’s hardware, calling it “too complex.” This didn’t stop the game from selling well over 10 million units worldwide. If anything, this was a problem for the PS3, not the dev team. This also ignores that games like LittleBigPlanet, Grand Theft Auto IV, and Metal Gear Solid 4 all came out in the same year as Left 4 Dead (2008) on PS3. Apparently, plenty of other dev teams didn’t have much of a problem with the PS3’s hardware, or at the very least, they got used to it soon enough. On top of that, when developing the 8th gen consoles, both Sony and Microsoft sought to use CPUs that were easier for developers, which included making decisions that considered apps for the consoles’ usage for more than gaming. On top of that, using their single-chip proprietary CPUs is cheaper and more energy efficient than buying pre-made CPUs and boards, which is far better of a reason for using them than some conspiracy about Sony and MS trying to make devs' lives harder. Now, console exclusives are apparently a point of contention: it’s often said that exclusive can cause developers to go bankrupt. However, exclusivity doesn’t have to be a bad thing for the developer. For example, when Media Molecule had to pitch their game to a publisher (Sony, coincidentally), they didn’t end up being tied into something detrimental to them. Their initial funding lasted for 6 months. From then, Sony offered additional funding, in exchange for Console Exclusivity. This may sound concerning to some, but the game ended up going on to sell almost 6 million units worldwide and launched Media Molecule into the gaming limelight. Sony later bought the development studio, but 1: this was in 2010, two years after LittleBigPlanet’s release, and 2: Media Molecule seem pretty happy about it to this day. If anything, signing up with Sony was one of the best things they could’ve done, in their opinion. Does this sound like a company that has it out for developers? There are plenty of examples that people will use to put Valve in a good light, but even Sony is comparatively good to developers.
“There are more PC gamers.”
The total number of active PC gamers on Steam has surpassed 120 million, which is impressive, especially considering that this number is double that of 2013’s figure (65 million). But the number of monthly active users on Xbox Live and PSN? About 120 million (1, 2) total. EDIT: You could argue that this isn't an apples-to-apples comparison, sure, so if you want to, say, compare the monthly number of Steam users to console? Steam has about half of what consoles do, at 67 million. Now, back to the 65 million total user figure for Steam, the best I could find for reference for PlayStation's number was an article giving the number of registered PSN accounts in 2013, 150 million. In a similar 4-year period (2009 - 2013), the number of registered PSN accounts didn’t double, it sextupled, or increased by 6 fold. Considering how the PS4 is already at 2/3 of the number of sales the PS3 had, even though it’s currently 3 years younger than its predecessor, I’m sure this trend is at least generally consistent. For example, let’s look at DOOM 2016, an awesome faced-paced shooting title with graphics galore… Of course, on a single platform, it sold best on PC/Steam. 2.36 million Steam sales, 2.05 million PS4 sales, 1.01 million Xbox One sales. But keep in mind… when you add the consoles sales together, you get over 3 million sales on the 8th gen systems. Meaning: this game was best sold on console. In fact, the Steam sales have only recently surpassed the PS4 sales. By the way VG charts only shows sales for physical copies of the games, so the number of PS4 and Xbox sales, when digital sales are included, are even higher than 3 million. This isn’t uncommon, by the way. Even with the games were the PC sales are higher than either of the consoles, there generally are more console sales total. But, to be fair, this isn’t anything new. The number of PC gamers hasn’t dominated the market, the percentages have always been about this much. PC can end up being the largest single platform for games, but consoles usually sell more copies total. EDIT: There were other examples but... Reddit has a 40,000-character limit.
This isn’t to say that there’s anything wrong with PC gaming, and this isn’t to exalt consoles. I’m not here to be the hipster defending the little guy, nor to be the one to try to put down someone/thing out of spite. This is about showing that PCs and consoles are overall pretty similar because there isn’t much dividing them, and that there isn’t anything wrong with being a console gamer. There isn’t some chasm separating consoles and PCs, at the end of the day they’re both computers that are (generally) designed for gaming. This about unity as gamers, to try to show that there shouldn’t be a massive divide just because of the computer system you game on. I want gamers to be in an environment where specs don't separate us; whether you got a $250 PS4 Slim or just built a $2,500 gaming PC, we’re here to game and should be able to have healthy interactions regardless of your platform. I’m well aware that this isn’t going to fix… much, but this needs to be said: there isn’t a huge divide between the PC and consoles, they’re far more similar than people think. There are upsides and downsides that one has that the other doesn’t on both sides. There’s so much more I could touch on, like how you could use SSDs or 3.5 inch hard drives with both, or that even though PC part prices go down over time, so do consoles, but I just wanted to touch on the main points people try to use to needlessly separate the two kinds of systems (looking at you PCMR) and correct them, to get the point across. I thank anyone who takes the time to read all of this, and especially anyone who doesn’t take what I say out of context. I also want to note that, again, thisisn’t “anti-PC gamer.” If it were up to me, everyone would be a hybrid gamer. Cheers.
Method 2 How to card Walmart, BestBuy, Asos, Adidas & Nike.
Hey guys, I'm back with the 2nd method in this 10 post comprehensive noob to pro carding and all thing online fraud tutorial. In this 2nd method, I will start from the really easy method and take it up from there, so I will teach you how to card high end clothes and sneakers, how to card walmart and best buy for any electronics of your choice and how to card other electronic websites. For those who missed out the 1st tutorial in this 10 part tutorial visit https://www.reddit.com/Stealing/comments/7xgx5f/how_to_make_40000_in_2_months_doing_online_fraud/ I will try and make this tutorial as beginner friendly as possible, for the benefit of those with no prior carding knowledge. This 2nd tutorial, is mostly for those in the US. I'm sharing methods that have worked for me not bullshit outdated methods. So be assured, that any method I post here, is working right now. For those without using drops or can't easily do what is in this tutorial, I suggest you be patient because I will different methods that you can do virtually from anywhere in the world and cashout through your bank drop, paypal etc. So be patient and follow my posts. Goal of this 10 post series is to give you enough knowledge at the end of it all, to be able to card like a pro and make money from any part of the world. Let's begin method 2. How to card any clothing item or sneakers you want. I'm going to start this tutorial with the easy one. Carding clothing items. Carding clothes and sneakers is easy as buying a gun in the us. I have never carded any clothing store and not have my order shipped, no matter the price or even if there is an address mismatch. And here is how I do it. The 3 websites I card for all my clothing and sneaker needs are Asos, Fanatics, adidas and Nike websites. To card any of the websites here is the step by step guide. 1, Buy a citibank or chase world or business cc from any cc autoshop of your choice. I personally buy from validcc but you can buy from any of your trusted vendor or aautoshop. I usually buy only world or business bins because they usually have a high balance. To check if your cc is live, you can go to stubhub and signup then add the cc in the payment settings. if it gives you no error messages, then the cc is live so proceed buf you need to know the exact balance on the cc(this is useful if you wanna card for over $1k) you can all the bank toll free cc customer care line and check the balance by providing the zip code on the cc addy. For items under $1k, don't bother calling cost most business and world cards have balance higher than that. When buying your cc, buy a cc that is in close proximity to the city your drop address is. If your drop is in Santa Clarita, buy a cc from Santa Clarita or any city in California. 2, When you are doing buying your cc, visit luxsocks and buy a socks5. I personally don't use socks 5 or rdp, what I do is, I have a burner android cell phone. I buy a new sim from verizon or any isp, then share the internet with my pc or card directly with my cell phone. You can also easily get a fresh IP from verizon each time you reset your phone. Moving on/ 3,Like I told you guys in the first method I shared, using a domain email or.edu email greatly increases the chance of your order getting shipped. So get a domain email. Using gmail is good too but you can never be too prepared. 4, go to Asos, fanatics, adidas and nike and sign up. In my experience. Asos and Fanatics are the easiest to card. Card the Asos Uk site. After signing up browse the website and select the items you want and add to your cart. During checkout, use your drop address as shipping, that is to say, use the address of the cc owner in the billing address section of checkout and in the shipping address, use your drop address, where you want the item delivered. Download dingtone or burner app and get a number or use google voice. During checkout add this number as your contact number. Asos and fanatics don't call to confirm order, they ship without calling but on some occasions, adidas and Nike call but the call is stupid cos all they will ask you is, if you authorised an order. You're say yes, confirm your name and zip. That's all. You can go as high as you want for for Asos and Fanatics but for adidas and nike, keep it under $1k. That's all for sneakers and clothings. Moving on to Electronics from Best buy and Walmart. To card Walmart and Bestbuy we are going to use a similar method to that in the first tutorial I did about carding canon and nikon but this time with a twist. Repeat the process of buying cc and and socks5 like I already stated above. Get your domain email as well then visit walmart and best buy I usually buy iphones or macbooks using this method. Add the item you want to card to your cart and during checkout, use the cc owner real address but during shipping select in store pickup. So for this method you have to physically go to another city not too close to where you live or have someone else pick up the item for you but here is what you need to d first. After selecting in store pickup, use the cc owner address and info as billing then checkout. If there is enough balance on your cc, the order will be processed and you'd be told when the item is available for pick up. When the item is ready for pick up, go to the settings page and add an alternate pick up person. You have an option to designate someone else to help you pick up this. What works for me is finding a random girl on the street then promise her $100 to help me pick up an item don't tell her is for fraud. Walmart and Best buy usually say you need to show cc to pickup an item but in over 2 years they've never asked anyone I send for the cc used in making the order, just an ID. This is really easy and not hard to pull of. That ends part 2. Remember 8 more quality tutorials to go, at the end of this all , you should have enough knowledge to make up a couple of Gs without leaving your room. I will share methods that don't involve any physical activity soon.. Watch out for metho 3. For any questions pm me or send me a message on Wickr my Wickr Batosila. I'd be happy to answer any questions. For those experienced carders who were messaging me asking me to drop my stripe methods right now, you all have to be patient,we will get there eventually. I started with the basics, so when we get to the carding payment processors part, all the newbies won't be overwhelmed. So be patient, I'll share everything here for free. Bitcoin Masterclass : https://satoshibox.com/k3h2rwy8r2svagum4o2kscik
My experience after 5 or more defective Dell Laptops, and one AIO in less than 2 months.
So full disclosure, I'm a very picky person, I'm indecisive, and I expect a certain quality for money spent - as do most I'm sure. My return/replacement experiences have all been based off me either simply not liking the product, or it being defective. The experiences I'm going to briefly talk about have been from mid June 2018 to the beginning of November 2018. Starting around the mid June.
Around mid June I bought my wife a Dell Inspiron All in One 27 7775. She's an avid Sims 4 player, and at the time I didn't have a gaming pc as I had sold it during the bitcoin craze earlier in the year. I was attracted to this particular All in One because of it's dedicated AMD RX 580, Ryzen 1700, mostly decent build quality, and seemingly solid 4k screen. Once we received it in the mail, there were large scrapes in the rear of the plastic near where you would use a screw driver to take the back panel off. I immediately saw this eye sore and called Dell for a possible explanation. They promptly assured me this was a brand new computer and they didn't know what would have caused this. Oh well, replacement ordered and $50 refund credit. Three days passed and I received the new one. Worked mostly well for the first 4-5 weeks. Some thing started to seem rather sluggish and delayed, like the processor was thinking, or I was using a old 5400 rpm drive in lieu of the NVME ssd that was in the machine. So I decided to do a clean install with a freshly downloaded ISO from the Microsoft Media Creation tool. Immediately upon loading windows I hit snag after snag. I mostly tried to NOT download the drivers from Dell which proved to be an insane headache, and prompted ANOTHER clean install in which I then used the Dell drivers. Turns out the AMD RX 580 in this this is super custom. It throws error after error if you don't use the official Dell GPU and Chipset drivers. I mean like it wouldn't even play games like Sims 4 or WoW without a 10-15 fps slideshow. Long story short, the Inspiron 27 7775 is very unstable, it runs outdated drivers, and even after updating the drivers with official Dell drivers - runs like a old Geo Metro up a steep hill. Sadly I paid $1400 for it, and I'm stuck with it. It manages to play Sims 4 and a few other games decently well now after finding that right install, but I dread the day I have to do another reset/reformat.
Around the end of September and beginning of October of 2018, I decided I needed a laptop that not only could play the occasional game (WoW, PUBG, Skyrim, Stellaris), but something that I could use for years. I am in the military and would like something that has the ability to travel with me if and when needed. I originally didn't want to go too extreme and landed on the semi base level i7/8gb/256ssd XPS 15 9570. I received it with scuffed carbon fiber palm rest and terrible backlight bleed. I did some research before getting a replacement and it seemed as though the 108op models suffer quite frequently from bad backlight bleed. So I just returned it through the website, and ordered a Dell G7. I was attracted by the solid feel (at the store briefly) and the very decent specs for around $1000. So I pulled the plug on a white one. When it arrived I immediately opened it and noticed a sharp cheap plastic bending sound. Almost like cheap thin plastic was being pulled away from some super tacky adhesive. So I closed the laptop after removing all the protective films and covers, just to be greeted again with this horrendous sound. I slowly inspected it as I opened it and it was the bezels around the screen, mostly the bottom bezel separating from its adhesive (lack there of?). I mean guys, this was bad, it was like a sticky plastic banshee every time you opened the thing. So I called Dell, and the replacement process went ok. The first guy I dealt with wanted me to talk to tech support, he kept badgering me to talk to tech support. I had to almost fight with him to get an exchange. I had had this laptop for all of 1 hour. So I asked to talk to his supervisor, who then promptly sent a replacement and gave me $50 in credit as a refund. The replacement arrived two days later with the SAME issue, but accompanied with a ticking fan. I again had to fight with the dell customer care team to return this, and when I denied a replacement the agent threatened me with a restocking fee. I let him know I was returning a defective device, he continued to try and sell me on a replacement. I didn't bite. I then proceeded to order an Alienware on sale. And I know what everyone is thinking, why keep going back to Dell. Long story short they have a fantastic 15% military discount, and I like to pay off my machines in a series of 3-6 months so the Dell Preferred Account made that an attractive one two punch. I now regret getting the account, but more on that another time. So I received the Alienware, Everything seemed fantastic at first, until I started playing some PUBG and WoW. I noticed the gsync was not working. And I was getting insane dips in performance. Upon further checking the i7-8750h was hitting 100c, constantly. Turns out it was defective. At this point I laughed about it, this was the 4th laptop that was basically defective from Dell. I started reading online rumors that big discounted items, such as military and student discounts are cherry picked and given the less quality end items. I still don't believe this, but who knows. I decided I'd wait a month and decide if I'd give Dell another shot. I pulled the trigger on another XPS 15 but this time one of their premium tier. I figured maybe these had better QC. I received the laptop Friday (1st of Nov 2018), and at first use I didn't notice any issues, I was pretty happy. I was so happy even that I called Dell to order 2 year premium in home service for hardware along with 2 year accidental. Night came, and I immediately noticed 2 of the LEDs were out on the 'M' key and the '8' key, I also noticed upon the Dell boot screen the backlight bleed was again, terrible. The next day I called them to process a return and refund for both the XPS and the warranty. The XPS return was mostly hassle free, but I spent a total of 4 hours on the phone getting transferred to 6 or 7 different people trying to return the warranty. One man told me I was a typical American and hung up on me, and another man I'm sure hung up on me as I was complaining about the other. Finally they apparently had to make an exception for me because "warranties can't be refunded" even though I had purchased this warranty less than 12 hours before the call, AND I was returning the laptop the warranty was attached to. Needless to say they said it could take 2 billing cycles before I see my refund for the warranty.
Needless to say, I'm done with Dell. Maybe I'm the unluckiest person ever with Dell, or maybe they can be THAT bad. In comparison, we had an Apple TV remote stop working 2 months after the warranty had ended. I have an autistic 5 year old and another toddler - so who knows what could have happened to this remote. Apple not only replaced it for free out of warranty, but they gave me a 20$ iTunes give card for my trouble. I recently bought a car from Carvana. When we received the car it wasn't the cleanest it could be, but it wasn't bad. It took me being slightly underwhelmed by the cleanliness for the delivering agent to offer me a $250 detail check and brand new replacement OEM Mats, my choice of the original or premium. I'd be curious to hear everyone's experiences with Dell.
Como ser anónimo na Internet – [TUTORIAL COMPLETO]
Antes de mais, não sou um especialista, apenas alguém interessado em segurança e comunicação e este tutorial é apenas direccionado à educação :D
1) HTTPS ou TOR?
Ao navegarmos a Internet convencional ou a “surface web” usamos protocolos. Tudo começou com o HTTP (HyperText Transfer Protocol), foi um dos primeiros protocolos quando tentamos aceder a um site mas é bastante fácil para um “hacker” ver o que fazemos e por onde navegamos isto porque não há qualquer tipo de encriptação entre o servidor web e a vossa máquina ou seja, basta alguém estar estar na mesma rede do que vocês, por exemplo a mesma rede wifi, e executar um MITM (man in the midle atack). Onde o hacker redireciona o tráfego da máquina alvo para o seu servidor e ele literalmente lê os pacotes de dados (informação trocada ou seja, passwords, utilizadores, etc) com um simples “sniff” no wireshark (programa que nos permite ver pacotes de dados (TPC, UDP, etc)). Forma bastante eficaz de roubar informações a alguém em servidores desprotegidos. Felizmente e a nosso favor a maioria dos sites hoje em dia usa HTTPS (HTTP + SSL), muitas pessoas convencionam o “S” no final do HTTPS como “secure”, daí o cadeado verde que vemos quando acedemos a esses websites. O processo (SSL) começa quando nos tentamos conectar a um site e ele manda-nos uma cópia do seu certificado SSL (Chave pública), o navegador verifica se o certificado está expirado, em vigor, valido, etc (uma grande treta de acreditação). Se o navegador confiar no certificado, ele cria e envia de volta uma chave de sessão simétrica utilizando a chave pública do servidor. O servidor da decrypt da chave de sessão simétrica usando a sua chave privada e envia de volta uma confirmação criptografada com a chave de sessão para iniciar a sessão segura e agora o servidor e o navegador comunicam com, supostamente, segurança. São assim realizados os primeiros momentos de conexão quando acedemos a um website com HTTPS. P.S: Pensem em chaves publica como algo que transforma x em alguma coisa que só pode ser aberto com a chave privada, y. Mais sobre isso a frente.
1.2) Se HTTPS é assim tão seguro, porque usar tor?
Bom, mesmo com esse tipo de segurança há várias formas de ver ou atacar alguém. Sempre podemos fazer phishing, ainda usar MITM (fazermo-nos passar por o servidor verdadeiro, é difícil AF mas possível) entre muitas outras coisas.. Com o Tor deixamos de ter esses problemas. Mais ou menos.
1.3) Mas o que é Tor?
Tor é uma comunidade, uma rede de computadores muitas vezes referida como Dark Web ou Deep Web. A rede Tor dá-nos um nível de segurança com 128-bit AES (Advanced Encryption Standard) end-to-end (De computadores para computadores, não da nossa máquina até ao website). No final das contas é uma rede que sobrepõe “IP’S” em várias camadas e deve ser tratada como tal. O melhor é usar HTTPS e Onions (Tor), HTTPS protege os nossos dados a nível de navegadores (nós)<=>(WEBSITE) e a rede Onion reforça o anonimato com “loops” pela internet de modo a escondemos a nossa identidade (IP). Mas esse nível de segurança depende do próprio website/servidor com que estamos a tentar comunicar. Para os nerds que desconheciam esta tecnologia, aqui têm um “Let’s Encrypt” para onions (here) A rede tor funciona a partir de nodes, qualquer um pode fazer um relay, node de saida, etc. Uma autentica rede de computadores que comunicam entre si anonimamente.
1.3.1) Um aparte do funcionamento dos nodes…
A comunicação do vosso computador para a internet depende do node de entrada onde basicamente o vosso computador entra na rede tor. Esse node de entrada comunica convosco e sabe o vosso endereço IP.
Esse node de entrada em seguida passa a vossa ligação para um relay. O relay comunica com o node de entrada e outro relay (pode haver vários) ou um node de saída mas não conhece o vosso IP
E finalmente a vossa ligação chega ao node de saída onde o vosso pedido inicial é desincriptado e mandado pela Internet. O node de saída não conhece o vosso IP, apenas o IP do relay anterior.
Utilizando este modelo de 3 ou mais nodes fica mais difícil, mas não impossível de correlacionar o vosso pedido inicial com o vosso IP original. Também queria frisar que a maior parte destes nodes são universidades (fun fact) O problema vem quando escrevemos “plain text” num site que acessamos via Tor, imaginemos que o meu exit node é o FBI ou a NSA. Se tivermos introduzido dados sensíveis apenas rezem que quem estiver a manteoperacional o exit node não tenha poder computacional suficiente para desencriptar a vossa ligação.
1.4) Let’s get REAL
Depois disto não parece nada seguro usar tor né? O bom é que é praticamente e impossível quebrar 128-bit AES. Toda a rede de bitcoin (hash rate atual é de 60M) demoraria 2.158 x 10^12 anos para quebrar 1 só chave. E para além do mais, sempre podemos configurar os nossos nodes, mais aqui. Apenas não coloquem nada que não gostariam que se tornasse publico pois a segurança nunca é garantida! O que é (praticamente) garantido é o anonimato com o tor :)(Eu diria até que o vosso anonimato é garantido, todos os websites na deepweb que foram fechados até o dia de hoje por exemplo, não teve nada a ver com uma falha na rede tor mas sim foi um descuido dos administradores) E para comunicação na web (chat) usem sempre PGP (Pretty Good Privacy), vamos falar mais a frente.
2) Que sistema operativo usar / Como Operar
Pretty bit topic here..
2.1) Sistemas Operativos
Querem anonimato? Usem um sistema operativo ao vivo (Live Operating System / Live CD). É um sistema operativo contido num dispositivo de armazenamento móvel, podem usar em qualquer lado com um computador (motherboard não desbloqueada) não deixando qualquer rasto no pc da sua existência (kinda, mais a frente).Caso não queiram ser tão hardcores sempre podem usar linux muito bom também, updates constantes da comunidade ;)Para o típico utilizador windows.. sabiam que o windows envia tudo o que vocês escrevem e falam para a Microsoft? Aqui têm tools que removem a telemetria and stuff (here) Se são uns completos noobs e nunca instalaram nenhum OS (operating system) podem usar uma coisa chamada Virtual Box que emula um sistema operativo dentro de outro. Pesquisem.
P.S: No que toca à Apple não tenho experiência portanto, não comento.P.S2: Dêm uma vista de olhos no “qubes”, sistema operativo hardcore para segurança.
2.2) PGP, Como Operar & Related
2.2.1) Mini Introdução
Temos de assumir sempre o pior, qualquer agência de inteligência ou governamental interceptou e desencriptou os nossos dados. O que eles podem usar contra nós? Temos sempre de agiter o cuidado de nunca compartilhar dados pessoais, NUNCA. Ter uma boa password sem nada que nos identifique (Tenho uma boa password?) e diferentes passwords e entidades para cada serviço/website que usemos. Lembrem-se, basta “deslizar-mos” uma vez e somos comprometidos. Caso usem o mesmo utilizadopass qualquer organização/pessoa com intenções pode “ligar os pontos” e identificar-te.
2.2.1) PGP (Pretty Good Privacy)
Outro passo que devem tomar é comunicar apenas usando PGP. Lembram-se das chaves publico e privadas? Vou salientar novamente esse tópico.Tomem em conta que nem sempre é possível comunicar com PGP, quando estamos a preencher informação num website ou wtv essa informação pode estar comprometida. Side Note: Há uns open sorce code para usar o Proton Mail com PGP com alguma facilidade, pesquisem nerds.
O processo PGP:
Criam uma chave privada e uma chave pública
A chave pública é aquela que vocês mandam para as pessoas poderem encriptar mensagens/ficheiros/etc.
A vossa chave privada é guardada por vocês, é a única coisa que pode desencriptar os ficheiros encriptados pela chave pública.
A pessoa com quem comunicarem tem de fazer exactamente o mesmo processo e vocês tem de usar a chave publica delas para lhes enviar mensagens.
GUARDEM BEM A VOSSA CHAVE PRIVADA, GUARDEM NUM LOCAL OFF-GRID, fisicamente escondida. Caso comprometida, fudeu. E já agora, se a perderem não há nenhuma forma de a recuperar. No tails a área onde podem mexer com o PGP fica no canto superior direito, uma que parece uma prancheta, vão a “manage keys”. Por exemplo, uma das razões que o Silk Road falhou foi que Ross (um dos administradores) nem sempre comunicava através de encriptação PGP e depois de ser apanhado (meteu informações pessoais na net no inicio da sua jornada) as autoridades tiveram acesso a tudo o que não estava encriptado. Sugiro sempre que guardem as suas chaves privadas num cartão SD ou melhor num microSD para que se um dia forem apanhados e alguém for-vos bater à porta podem simplesmente parti lo e os vossos dados ficam seguros x)
2.2.2) Tails e resíduos
(assumindo que têm o tails a funfar..) Tails é um excelente sistema operativo para privacidade, quando ligado e “bootado” no PC ele cria um drive virtual e quando é fechado tal é apagado, mas não permanentemente. Como deve ser conhecimento geral, armazenamento na memória de um computador (no seu disco rígido) funciona a base de 0’s e 1’s. Vamos supor que crio uma pasta chamada “teste”. O disco rígido será desempenhado de designar os respetivos 0’s e 1’s a uma secção do disco e saber onde está tal secção. Temos 2 dados importantes aqui, os dados da pasta “teste” (0’s e 1’s) e a sua localização na respectiva secção do disco, chamam-se “pointers”. Pointers apontam o local do disco onde estão armazenados os dados (0’s e 1’s).Quando apagamos algo (tradicionalmente) apenas apagamos os pointers e os 0’s e 1’s anteriormente designados à pasta teste estarão agora labled como livres, esperando serem rescritos por novos 0’s e 1’s de novos dados. Espero ter sido claro. Portanto, alguém com habilidades pode pesquisar no disco 0 e 1’s designados como “espaço livre” que, organizados “façam sentido” e recuperar os nossos dados privados. Temos 2 opções:
Dar Shread nos ficheiros (Rescrever aleatoriamente 0’s e 1’s “livres”)
Encriptar o disco rígido
2.2.3) Encriptação do disco inteiro & destruição segura de ficheiros & RAM
No que toca a encriptação do disco tails tem uma funcionalidade incorporada chamada FDE (Full Disk Encryption) ou seja, formata-vos a pen (ou o quer que seja que estão a usar) e rescreve-a com o seu conteúdo encriptado sendo apenas possível ganhar-lhe acesso com uma palavra-passe. E como sempre, guardem a password num local seguro ou memorizem-na. Tutorial de como encriptar o disco (here) E no que toca a destruição segura dos ficheiros há vários programas para o fazer, apenas recomendo que o faças no mínimo 3x (para garantir aleatoriedade). Duck it. Mesmo com o disco encriptado e os dados limpados ainda podemos extrair-te informações pela tua RAM📷 Chamam-se de “Cold Boot” esses tipos de ataques.
Primeiro, RAM (random acess memory), quesamerda?
RAM é o local onde o computador armazena dados que apenas são necessários temporariamente e isso acontece milhões de vezes por segundo. Pensem na RAM como uma memoria onde pode ser escrita e rescrita os 0’s e 1’s extremamente rapido. Imaginemos que estão a trabalhar num documento de texto, enquanto trabalham tal está a ser guardado na RAM (armazenamento de curto prazo) até que clicam em salvar e o documento é armazenado no disco rígido em si (armazenamento de longo prazo). Nesse período de tempo os dados são armazenados na RAM sem qualquer tipo de encriptação. Quando desligamos o computador normalmente ele passa por um ciclo onde limpa os dados armazenados na RAM mas se ele perder energia abruptamente os dados ficam “leaked” na RAM e é onde são realizados os Cold Boot Atacks. A única medida que podemos implementar contra este tipos de ataques é usar RAM DDR3 (isto porque ela necessita de eletricidade para manter dados, passado x tempo os dados são apagado) e desligar o PC normalmente, sempre.
Abram uma nova tab (janela) no navegador e escrevam “about:config” e cliquem no botão “I’ll be careful, I promise.” (apenas versões mais antigas, se não tiverem botão, ignorem)
(se usam tails, cada vez que o iniciam poderão de ter de fazer isto)
2.2.4) Dados EXIF
Tiramos tantas fotografias com os nossos telemóveis né? Sabiam que provavelmente a vossa localização está incorporada nelas? Quase todos os formatos de fotos podem ter as cordeadas incorporadas menos o formato .PNG portanto é imperativo para um criador de um website apenas permitir formatos PNG e também para nos porque a nossa informação pode dar “leak” por um erro tão simples como este. Felizmente o Tails tem uma solução, basta irmos a Applications -> Accessories -> Metadata Anonymisation Toolkit, mais info –> (here)
2.2.5) VPN + TOR = PERFECTION?
Bem, não. VPN’s não são de confiança. A famosa “HideMyAss” que supostamente tinha uma carrada de implementações de segurança que nem eles próprios conseguiriam ver o que o utilizador fazia abriu a boca quando questionada pelo governo da Inglaterra sobre o caso LulzSec.Mas se tentarem a vossa sorte escolham uma que no mínimo tenha 128 bits ou até mesmo 256 bits de encriptação. Se querem ainda mais segurança do que já têm, comprem umas raspberryPi, disfarçam-nas e coloquem-nas em um sitio que tenha uma rede Wifi Publica escondidas e com eletricidade, façam uns servidores OpenVPN, uns proxies da treta e GG (Como criar uma rede tor mas caseira). Fiz um tutorial de como fazer uma VPN numa raspberry, depois é só fazer uns loops. P.S: DNSQueries, não confiem na vossa rede.
2.2.6) Cuidado com downloads
Por vezes numa comunidade da deepweb recebemos PM (private messages) que nos dizem que a nova atualização do tor tem uma falha de segurança e aqui está o link X para dar patch. Treta, nunca confiem e façam sempre o download do website oficial (cuidado com o phishing) mas podemos sempre verificar a autenticidade dos nossos downloads. Recomendo o uso do GnuPG. Pesquisem, muito importante! Voltamos a usar o nosso amigo PGP ;) P.S: Não só downloads, também podem assinar mensagens encriptadas (quase como encriptado 2x)
2.2.7) Simples e eficaz, adeus monitorização da treta
Podem-nos identificar de várias maneiras, uma delas é pelos nossos padrões habituais que podem ser usados contra nós em tribunal. Uma forma fácil de acabar com isso é desabilitar “mostrar o meu status online”, muito comum em fóruns e comunidades.
2.2.8) Usem bridges!
Mesmo com esta segurança quando ligados ao tor o vosso ISP (Internet Service Provider) pode ver que vocês estão a usar o Tor, para tal sempre podemos usar bridges. Lista de bridges (here) captcha é hard mesmo.. (ataques de correlação) Depois de entrarem vão ter acesso a uma lista de bridges que são publicamente disponiveis pelo Tor, talvez não seja a melhor opção mas sempre tens a opção de mandar diretamente um email para [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) com o body da mensagem sendo “get bridges”, infelizmente só funciona para Gmail e Yahoo (anti bots) Para usa-las no boot do tails aparecem 2 opções: Live e Live (Fail Safe), neste menu cliquem em Tab , Espaço e escrevam “bridge” e depois enter. Modo bridge ativado. Ao entrarem no tails basta adicionar as vossas bridges numa tab que vos vai aparecer neste formato-> IP:PORTA e gg. Visto que é muito menos provável que o vosso ISP conheça estas ligações. Também podem especificar o pais assim: XXX.XXX.XXX.XXX – COUNTRY: X De qualquer das formas bridges é um assunto complexo, do your homework. Coisas bonitas para vocês (here)
3) Governo e polícia
3.1) Os seus limites
Bom, não têm, pelo menos os americanos (casos mais conhecidos). Eles chegaram ao ponto de ter uma conta no silk road como vendedores onde seriam vendidas fake ID’S (durante 7 anos), após esse período começaram de apreensões. E no serviço postal dos US, qualquer encomenda “ilegal” não eram apreendida mas sim colocavam-lhe um tracker. Tenham sempre em mente que se eles vos querem apanhar mesmo, eles farã tudo no seu alcance para vos capturar. Tenham sempre em mente que se vocês estão a fazer qualquer tipo de actividade considerada ilegal têm sempre de ter em conta o pior cenário possível. Vocês até podem ter uns PC’s, uns servidores e algumas skills mas não é nada comparado com o poder deles. Lembrem-se, basta escorregarem uma vez e acabou, sejam prudentes.
3.2) O que fazer quando se é apanhado
Errar é humano. Provavelmente vamos todos cometer um erro e se o governo achar que somos um peixe suficientemente grande ele vem a trás de nós. É sempre melhor prevenir do que remediar, temos de ter já um advogado pago 50k + extra (caso sejam ilegais, mesmo.) isto porque o governo pode congelar-nos as contas/apreender o dinheiro. Sabiam que o silencio é um direito? Mantenham a boca fechada. Eles vão tentar usar todas as táticas para nos fazer admitir que somos culpados dos crimes de que somos acusados. Provavelmente a primeira coisa que eles vos vão dizer é que nos querem ajudar e estão a trás do maior peixe do cardume, ignorem, treta. Eles vão dizer “então não queres cooperar? Estava a tentar ajudar-te mas agora só vais dar problemas” ou “Tens alguma noção dos crimes de que és acusado?”. Mais uma vez, mantenham-se calados e continem a pedir por um advogado. Nunca falem sem o vosso advogado presente e nunca façam nada que não seja exigido legalmente. Vocês têm o DIREITO de estar calados. Não discutam com os policias sobre se eles têm ou não alguma coisa contra ti, sê chill nesse assunto. Age assustado, ansioso e confuso. Como se não soubesses o que se passa e apenas queres o teu advogado. Diz aos policias: “Vocês estão-me a assustar, apenas quero o meu advogado”… como eu amo engenharia social. Com o vosso advogado é o basico, sejam honestos com ele e trabalhem como uma equipa. Privilegio Cliente-advogado.
4) Cool Stuff
TorChat funciona da mesma forma que o tor funciona com todas a features que todos gostamos, cria links .onion da mesma forma que o tor mas usa-o para identificar um ID de uma pessoa em particular sendo que esse ID pode comunicar com outros ID.
P.S: Não recomendo, ideia bonita mas não sabemos o nível de anonimato ou as vulnerabilidades que tal implica visto que funciona da mesma forma do que se como tivéssemos criado um HiddenService (um site tor) no nosso PC. Isso pode levar a problemas sérios. Fica à vossa mercê, de qualquer das formas a sua comunicação eu<=>parceiro teria o mesmo nível de segurança do que o tor.
Tales of IT converted to plain text for the sake of legibility
I got hired by my Dad to do IT. I know very little about IT besides games. These are my IT stories. be first day
> woman asks me if I can install the latest version of adobe reader > fuck ya I got this DL like a boss > "Wow you're like a computer expert" > "Well you know..." > Asked to input admin credentials > forget admin credentials > try admin:password > nope.jpg > "uhhhh... uhhhh... oh crap somethings going on with the server.. be right back" > 3 months later she still doesn't have adobe reader
More? be day 2
> angry guy is on the phone asking me about some weird in house program > have no idea what the fuck he's saying > there's a pause > he's waiting for an answer > think back to the IT crowd > "Have you tried turning it on and off again" > "Like restarting" > "Give me a sec..." > it fucking worked
> hot sales rep comes in with laptop issues > she's 9/10 cougar > all flirty with me > tells me she needs something updated > can only hear her boobs > her laptop smells like strawberrys > download adobe reader for her and hand it back
> figure out how to turn off the servers > when people start asking for help > go into server room > turn off servers > come out oblivious and start downloading adobe reader > eventually people start screaming > THE SITES DOWN! THE SITES DOWN! > "I'm on it!" > run back to the server room > play hotline miami in the back for few hours > turn server back on near end of day > come out of server room > wipe brow from face > "I did it..." > people are singing my praises saying i saved the day > really just saved the girlfriend in HM
> run into cougar at coffee machine > ask her how things are going, just a general statement > instantly thinks im talking shop > starts telling me all the shit wrong with her computer > she doesn't see me as a human > she sees me as an it > tell her to drop off her laptop > she does > I upgrade her ie > download adobe reader > restart the machine > everythings fucking working > run it back to her > fix my hair > check my breath > act like I saved the day > she's in her office on the phone > she motions to put on her desk >1 do...kind of linger > "Is that everything hun?" > leave > hear her say "oh it was just IT" > just IT > that is all I am now
> really bored > decide to download a gameboy emulator and play some pokemon > the webfilters blocking it so I turn it off the whole thing I dont just whitelist it, I turn it all off > get to emulator site but now I need to turn off the antivirus > use the admin which I now know to do it... > end up turning off the whole antivirus settings on the server > download my emulator and rom > play my game > guy comes into my office > "I think I caught I virus" > me "gotta catch em all" > by the time I'm facing Misty 4 people have viruses
> same guy that was yelling at me day 2 is yelling at me > he cant remotely log in just as I am about to leave to go home > "Try turning it off then on again then call me back" > go home
> guy call from day 7 calls back > he's pissed > tells me he lost a client because of my stupidity > "shit happens man. I lost to team rocket like 10 minute ago" > "what the fuck are you talking about?" > click
> one of the printers is out of toner > some fat guy tells me to change it > "it's a toner man... can't you change it? I'm working on this huge issue with the server" > was really downloading steam > "it'll take a second... god I have much more important stuff to do... that's why you're here" > sigh and go do it > cant figure out how to fucking open the fucking cartridge door > start hitting it like they do in zoolander > tell the poor mentally challenged guy in the mail room I have a special job for him > he has to hide the magic egg in the chest of Hewlet Packard > go back to my server business > half an hour later the fat guy comes into my office > "What the fuck did you do to the printer?" > "Changed the toner" > He just starts shaking his head and muttering shit > we walk over to it > the mailroom guy jammed the cartridge in the wrong way and actually lodged it in there so half of it is sticking out > the door cant even close > there's black hand prints all over the printer too > Can feel the guy judging me so I just spew bullshit > "Looks to be a probably with the network." > the printer was down for over a month before I figured out we have a printer guy on call
> have to set up projector in the boardroom > cant find a thunderbolt to hdmi cable to hook it up to lazy to go to the store > dont even have a corporate card either > tell the people needing the projector that there's a compatibility issue with macbooks > they use some guys dellbook > the files from the mac end up not running on the dellbook > call me in mid meeting > all these business people staring at me as I am randomly clicking folders as fast as possible to look like I am pro > download adobe reader > double click files > works > "Thanks Anon, you saved me"
> there's a new hire > no one fucking told me anything > get screamed at that theres no computer for this new person > go in back to see if we have any spares > there's a few > but there's also some really old pcs from like the early 90's > boot it up > works > set up new person > everything lags > you open adobe reader? massive fucking lag > send out the computer > "it's the best we've got on short notice" > get like 40 sharepoint tickets the first day from that person > he's a real stickler for help > he ends up quitting the very next week saying he can't work under these conditions
> someones computer crashed > fuuuuuuuuck > set up computer > remember something about profiles being saved on the network > go back to the server room > look at the server rack like a total idiot as I try and figure out in my head how this works > tell the guy all his data is lost and there's nothing I can do > "b-b-bbut my project... i have to present that to the board on friday..." > "gone, man. It's gone" > play sim theme park the rest of the day
> roll up to work an hour late > whole office is in chaos > fallofrome.jpg > "HE'S HERE!" > Go in to my office open up mail > dozens of emails like: > "Hey is there something wrong with the server I can't log in to..." > "Any idea why the site is down I..." > the server is actually down > adobe reader can't save me now > "Just go back there and do what you did last time!" > everyone thinks its an easy solve > literally shaking in the server room because I don't know what to do > nap in server room for entire day > people are pissed can hear them banging on server door > we've missed deadlines > leave at 6:30 pm > the CFO sees me in the parking lot > hes been in a meeting all day doesn't know about my struggles > "You're still here?! That's the kind of can-do attitude I like to see"
> server is still down > my dads asking questions > everyone is pissed > take an early lunch > over hear some guys at the restaurant talking about buying a new modem for the office > hailmary.jpg > "Hey sorry to bother you during your lunch...but would either of you happen to be IT?" > before either of them could read me the riot act and tell me something like how the fuck dare I > I'm IT too > I show them my hand that I scratched up crawling wire on the floor > they nod > "What would you try doing if your server is completely fucked?" > "Have you tried restarting it?" > I go back and restart the physical machine > it fucking works
> hot cougar walks by office looking distressed > "Everything okay?" > "Oh good... I can't log into my email... can you please help me... PLEASE" > "I got you." > get her laptop > re-install microsoft office > outlook works again > poke through her emails to make sure things are working > send a test file > read the titles of her latest emails > "Divorce" > hand back her laptop > "Looks like its working now" > "Thanks..." > "Everything okay?" > "Well..." > this is fucking it, tell me your sob stories cougar woman and then its or > "My mouse is acting a bit funny, can I get a new one"
> one of the mailroom guy's monitors isn't working > it's coming up all green > backstory: there's been a huge misappropriation of funds because I gave him dual monitors just because he's a mentally challenged and I figured if anyone needs 2 screens its him > all he does is look at msn slideshows > and use the fedex webapp or something > he's a nice guy so I actually try and fix it for him > nothings working > think its a driver issue > think its a setting issue > think its an actual hardware issue > whole time people are coming to me with real problems but I keep saying "I'll be there in a minute" > after 2 hours the mailroom guy goes > "maybe da pug ish boken" > I swapped out the hdmi cable with a brand new one > it worked > I officially am less adept at my job then a poor mentally challenged guy
> nice old woman who talks to me about sports tells me her keyboard is shit > she's oldest person in the office by far > old as dirt > tell her I have just the thing > go in the back and unbox a brand new keyboard meant for the programmers > bring it to the old woman > "You're such a helpful young man" > reach down awkwardly to plug in the new keyboard > get back up and dust pants off > old lady looks like she's having a heart attack > look at the screen > it's fucking blank > on my way back up to my feet I hit the power button > she lost 3 hours of work > 3 hours that old woman will never ever see again
> company meeting > we're over budget > there has been ridiculous spending > "we've lost money for almost a month > day 18 > almost a month > they are going to out me > IT budget comes up in discussion > we're one of 2 departments that are coming under budget > "Great job Anon. I heard about the server issues here... you're the man" > at the end of the meeting a 45 year old events planner asks me if I fix computers on the side > "Not really..." > "Oh... I have this one blasted thing that needs fixing. You couldn't just come over and fix it?" > bullshit > for a laugh I say, "yeah it's cool, just give me your address and I'll be over after work" > not sure if I'm getting sex > buy condoms > she's not that hot like a 6/10 tops > not even going to lie > last call kind of hot > arrive at her house > ring the door bell while standing all suave leaned up against the door > her husband answers the door > shows me to the computer > install the latest version of adobe reader > get $20 > go home
> some guy crashes a program so I have to reinput the settings > go onto his cubicle mates computer > check settings > 2 hours later > "You wrecked my computer... I want my fucking computer back exactly how it was I don't know what you did but somethings off my usb drive is buzzing..." > wtf > I didnt do shit to your computer. I checked a program you open 20 times a day > super pissed so I go back into the server room and play Thomas Was None > hear knock on server room door > its the cubtclemate > "Hey, Thanks for fixing it. > "Fixing what?" > "The my usb drive" > I didn't do shit lol > "Oh yeah don't mention it"
> spend entire day cleaning the server room up > getting it all nice > just unplugging network cables wily nifty so I can colour coordinate them > people are losing their shit > they are randomly getting kicked off > tell people there are some issues with our isp > I make sure to say I-S-P as I have now learned by spelling in abbreviations no matter how common makes you sound techy > by the end of the day the server rack is all classy looking > unfortunately I never mapped anything and a handful of people can't connect because their ports aren't connected to anything > tell them the I-S-P will have it done ASAP and go home
> now that the server room is all clean I set up all the test boxes in the back > 8 machines in total all connected to the network > try joining monitors all together like you see on cool threads, you know like the racing ones? > realize these are shit old monitors and you can't do that > come up with the great idea of bitcoin mining with these boxes > set it up for the first half of the day > after lunch I'm mining > terribly but I am mining > people start complaining about server lag > blame the lag on the olympics > suggest that the whole office must be streaming it > ban the olympics on the web filter > office is divided; can see the divide in my email > people who are pissed about not being able to watch the olympics > and the keeners who think its all work and no play at work > I've officially gained power though, people respect me for making this mandate > "He's a real company guy"
> its birthday day > office celebrates all the months birthdays > take cake > set up n64 in the boardroom > challenge people in the office to goldeneye > keep saying "Hey I'm just taking a 5 minute break for some cake want a quick game?" > own the shit out of all of them > realize I did absolutely nothing all day but eat cake and game > no one ever noticed
> cougar calls in from the road > she's having trouble accessing a key app for a client on her ipad > she tells me its name > have no idea what it is > but make sure to sound astute > ask her if she's using WIFI or 3G > "How do I check" > "Nevermind let me check from my maincore system" > google the app but nothing comes up > ask one of the other sales people > "oh it's just an infographic on our main site" > tell the hot cougar to come into the office because it's going to require me to hardcode the changes in > she drives 2 hours to come to the office so I can open up Safari and bookmark it to her ipad homepage
I'll continue this tomorrow, believe it or not there's an ending to this but I can't get to it today. day 24
> people heard from the 45 year old events planner I do house calls > bunch of idiots are bringing in their home computers, mobile devices, anything technical for me to fix > tell people I can only do it after hours and I charge $20 for small stuff and $50 for large. > most of it is simple fixes > windows updates or adobe reader installs fix it > but then I get it > the laptop from hell > this fat indian guy hands me his laptop in a plastic bag, not a laptop bag, a plastic one > "What's wrong with it?" > "You tell me genius" > Load it up and it's asking for some system restore or something. > just hit next and okay > fixes it but it says I need to load chkdisk? > figure that has something to do with the cd drive > open it up > there's a thick fucking layer of bread crumbs in the tray > tilted the machine to its side > motherfucking bread crumbs just pouring out of the laptop > restart the machine > it loads perfectly > turns out the guy was using it as a tray for his morning bagel > fucking toaster laptops
Hi AV its the IT guy from yesterday day 25
> even though I'm shit at IT > one guy thinks because I am IT I am super techy > he asks me what my favourite browser is > "Google.... Ultron" > "it like chrome?" > shit thats what I meant > "yeah...but better...it's what nasa uses" > "cool could you dl that for me?" > gulp > "yeah no worries" > literally start shaking the mouse back and forth so fast you can see the cursor > then ctrl alt deleted into task manager > "there....you go. All done. It looks like google chrome. but its really ultron. no one else can tell." > to this day he still thinks he runs google ultron
> some woman calls me over > "it'll just take a sec, it's super simple" > shit > asks me to hook her up to a new printer > she hops out of her chair and lets me sit down > forget how to add network printers > her and her friend are talking right over my shoulder staring at the screen > "Is this going to take long?" > I fake deep thought as I stare at the screen with one hand on my temple > "Anon? I have a deadline is this going to..." > "What the fuck..." > both of the women are startled > "THERE'S A VIRUS ON THIS MACHINE" > and I just storm off like I'm pissed
> learn about a remote access tool that the whole office uses > decide to haunt the old nice old lady from before > i randomly move the mouse for a few hours > she struggles to do basic tasks > she comes and asks me for a new mouse > oblige her > hook it up and leave > look back at remote tool > mouse is moving again, she opens up word > I begin to type > "Hi" > no response > "Hi > "Hello? Who is this?" > "It's death :("
> a guy asks me to burn him a copy of a dvd for a presentation > holy fuck I know how to do that > burn it for him > march back down to his office, proudly holding the dvd high in the air > Woman tries to stop me "Hey can you..." > "Not now... I've got IT business to attend to" > hand the guy his burned dvd > this might be one of the first things IVe done right here > tear in my eye > so proud of how far I have come > I am true IT > 5 minutes later I get a call "Hey...yeah there's nothing on the dvd..."
> give new hire her new laptop > nothing is fucking setup right > forgot to hook up her outlook to exchange > no worries she did it herself > cool > she asks me if I can type in the admin credentials so she can dl some social media tool > "Sure" > fuck up the login credentials like 3 times and get locked out > have to unlock it from my machine > can't figure it out but go back because I left my gameboy in her office > she starts making small talk > "So where'd you go to school to become an IT person?" > she's fucking on to me > try logging in once more to admin account > locked out still > "Yeah... you know what? I think this Hootsuite extension is a virus. I don't want that shit on my network"
> here's where shit starts to really hit the fan > as you know i had setup a bitcoin mining rig in the server room > it was just eating up all the bandwidth > the whole network was barely operational > and now because of my ineptitude and blaming things on viruses people started a rumour > that the whole network was being attacked by a rogue hacker group > after lunch I get pulled into a meeting by with all the execs > the jig is up > "As you know we've been experiencing a multitude of issues with our network..." > I'm fucked > "from the lag to the viruses" > so fucked > "We want you to head up the investigation and find out who's doing this and why" > ROFL > I am the fucking dirty cop on the force who's tasked with finding the dirty cop > I am the fucking law
> tell people I'm running server calibrations > "it's like dusting for finger prints" > no one's the wiser > show this one middle aged guy with a beard how to use a webapp > go to favourite it for him and put it on the toolbar > notice all of his favourites > Big titty housewife > Pajama Butt Slut > Mexican girl on bus > mouse over them as I mouth read them > he starts freaking out > begs me not to tell > "Why shouldn't I?" > "Ill buy you lunch" > got 10 chicken nuggets
> for some reason the entire office is having to fill in a captcha every time they google anything > have no idea why this happening > Google ultron guy asks me if this has to do with the virus and if he should be backing up his data > "First. Always back up your data." > he nods to my tech savvy > "Second. It's a security measure INce put in place. There are robots afoot." > he nods again like my word is law
> Ultron guy blabs and tells everyone about google ultron > now everyone in the fucking office has a sharepoint ticket asking for it to be installed > a few of the more competent people are asking me what the fuck google ultron is > I just give them finger guns until they walk away > have to spend entire day going from desktop to desktop pretending to dl google ultron > literally spend 3-4 hours pretending to dl software that nasa uses > one girl asks me if this even legal > "Are you a cop?" > she reports me to HR for "criminal like behaviour > have already explained to HR what google ultron is... > HR thinks its real > HR thinks nasa uses it > HR tells the narc to stop interfering with important technological matters because the narc doesnt know anything about IT like me > doesnt know anything about IT like me
> been playing portal 2 all day in my office > haven't heard so much as a complaint > haven't had to update adobe reader or adobe flash all fucking day > something's not right > no one's said shit about it > poke my head out of the office > everyone's heads down just typing away > starting to get worried > ask a guy how his computer is working > "Great. Ever since you downloaded Google Ultron, my whole computer has just been flying" > wtf > do a quick google search on google chrome > supposedly it automatically downloads the most up to date versions of adobe > omfg > if I don't have fucking adobe reader I'm fucking out of a job > send out mass email > ATTN: do not open google ultron it has been hacked > spend rest of day uninstalling and making IE the default browser
> people are becoming restless with the hackevirus stuff > they wonder why I haven't solved the case yet > some even believe its not a hacktivst group like I've been hinting > "We're not just dealing with amateurs here. We're dealing with the best. And that's why I need to update your antivirus scanner" > just to strike the fear into people I covertly turn on the computer of a person who's sick and stationed right in the middle of one of the larger areas > turn off her monitor > put speakers full > then go back to office and remote in > play Wham's Jitterbug at 3 second intervals throughout the day > eventually people Start coming to my office to report this > I nod > it's worse than I thought > "What? What is it?" > it's the Jitterbug gang. One of the world's best hacking groups" > "I've never heard of them." > "That's why they're the best"
> check messages > local police called > FUUUUCK > need to speak with me since I am IT about recent hacks on our organization > delete message > cougar comes into my office > asks if I can adjust her desktop so the wallpaper changes every couple of minutes > "Sure." > head over there with her > she tells me she's getting a divorce > "Oh." > Says she's actually starting to date again and it's pretty awkward > fuck it > "Wanna maybe grab a beer sometime after work?" > she laughs > "What? I mean why not?" > "You're joking right? You're IT..." > my eyes well up as I stare at adobe prompts me that reader has a new update > "Just gonna download this."
> feeling like shit today > cougar told her sales friends that I tried asking her out > people are laughing behind my back > can hear the whispers > "eww haha IT?!!! ewwwwww" > want to just open up a computer and jump through the moving cpu fan > mean sales guy who usually calls (yeah that one) stops by office > "My laptops not working" > I trudge over to his desk with him > hit the power button for a reset > don't say anything and just walk away > "If that's all you ever do.. Why do we need you?' > turn around > "what?" > "if you only ever just restart my computer... why are we paying you? I can restart my own damn computer" > grin > "Have you ever repaired a server here? Do you know how hard it is to get it operational? Remember how we were down for a day and a half?" > he shakes his head > "That's what I thought." > of course I just restarted it lol
> still feel like shit after the cougar shut me down > decide to block 1 major site on the webfilter every hour > feel like the Joker doing it > first youtube > then ebay > then reddit > hear the moans from people as they read my webfilter note > "This is a place of work not a fun house" > One woman storms into office > "This is not funny...this is serious" > "Why so serious?" I ask her > "I need you to unblock ebay" > lot seriously > "I HAVE AN AUCTION ENDING IN 5 MINUTES!" > put it back on the safe list > but it was too late > she missed out on her cellphone case > mwhahahahaha
> an "investigator" comes to the office > the execs were worried that we had too much to lose and wanted to bring in a professional > I'm fucked > show him around the office > he keeps asking to see the server room > "And this is Carol. She's a riot. Aren't you Carol" > doing everything I can to stall > we go back into the server room > he compliments me on how neat the cables are > think about picking up a monitor and bashing his skull in and then running away to mexico > cant do it > I'm not a monster > I'm IT > the guy goes onto the server > asks me for the login info > figure the jig is up > give it to him > he logs in > opens up IE > looks over his shoulder at me > "You don't need to be here" > "It's fine" > I need to be there when it happens > he literally starts shaking his mouse really quickly around IE clicking on random parts of the screen > I know because a popup for Home depot came up > he starts muttering to himself... "hmmm... hmmm" > watch him type in adobe reader in google > he dl's it > swings his cursor around some more > and then finally goes > "fucking hackers right?" > we are brothers he and I > IT brothers
> wake up and realize how lucky I truly am not to be fired or worse > see cougar girl walking into the office from parking lot > asks me how things are going > I think we finally put an end to the jitterbug gang > "no, I meant... not work stuff' > look at her strangely then smile. > "Oh you know how it is" > she flicks her hair and then laughs > what the fuck? > "Cool. I'm having problems opening a file...can you open it for me hun?" > sigh > "Yeah sure..." > we walk into her office she's being all flirty > click on the sharepoint link of a pdf file > won't open > download adobe reader > while it's loading I ask her what she's planning on doing on the weekend > "I'm going to the mountains with this guy for our first getaway" > stop adobe reader at 80% > walk right out > I am IT
> this hot yoga girl from events comes into my office > her keyboard keeps typing in french > too busy playing Happy bird to care > "so are you going to help me?" > "if things slow down. I've been swamped today" > "I'm going to fucking kill you" > she waggles her glorious yoga butt away > cute girl, and don't even care anymore just want day to fucking end > I hate this fucking job > all I do is get yelled at and download adobe reader > I cant even find the joy in games any more > Dad walks by > sees I'm looking blue > Dad takes me out for lunch > pats me on the shoulder > "I'm so proud of you son." > to date the company is in fucking shambles > and I still am primarily an adobe reader downloader > but I wouldn't change any of it for his very next words > "I love you son." Thanks guys and thanks Dad for the job. :) Don't forget to download your adobe readers guys.
I didn't make this, I converted it to text from the imgur images and am working on correcting it occasionally.
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